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| |  relieved | ] |
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| | Just the way you are - Brueno Mars | ] |
sweetness redefined thanks girls :D for celebrating my bday even if its like weeks after the actual day haha  love the cool gift and the (MOST CREATIVE) card ever lol we've learnt our lesson! next time we have to assign someone to bring a camera, FULLY CHARGED & we gotta find a place less windy, with fewer ppl so that there wont be random ppl in the background haha <3 !/ i went for a cousin's bday party just recently and the funny thing was, i didnt even get to wish her nor did we even see each other, eye to eye, face to face. and this got me thinking.
let's call this cousin, L. coincidentally or not, ive got a friend with the same name so let's call her L2 (haha). okay for one, im not surprised that i didnt get to wish L, considering the fact that she's a pretty reserved prisch kid who only replies without opening her mouth eg. shakes heads, nods heads. for the 10 years ive known her, i dont recall anytime which she actually said hi to me. it's (sad to say) as though we're strangers. i may be exaggerating things a little here but thats how i truely feel. maybe im expecting too much from her or maybe she's just, like that. in any case, im pretty sure she knows that i exist, just that she dont acknowledge me.
then L2. hah. we've known each other for about close to 2 years, thanks to, an event. we arent close, just hi-bye friends, i-smile-at-you you-smile-at-me scenarios. i must say, even if i have friendships like that, i appreciate it. whether the smile/greeting is sincere, thats another matter but the fact that you offered it in the first place already means something, right? but because of an incident, L2 has not been acting the same towards me whenever we happen to meet. im not being oversensitive here but sometimes, its just really obvious and i can read body languages. to a certain extent, it's sad too because it's as though i've 'lost a friend' (okay i know it sounds abit dramatic here). maybe im expecting too much from her, or maybe the incident just hit her so hard that things just cant go back the way it used to be. in any case, im sure she knows that i exist but she dont acknowledge me anymore.
seems like i do not have good 'rapport' (i cant think of a better word!) with people by the name of L eh haha. maybe its really just pure coincidence (like how L & L2 share the same bday month & have a party too), maybe in time to come when L has grown alot more older and mature, we'll get to really engage more with each other. that, im quite hopeful it'll happen cause after all, she's my cousin. as for L2, well the last time im going to see her will prob be gradnite? haha time will tell. but im quite sure that it'll be silly of me to think we'll end up greeting each other again unless..... of course i'll still smile at her, because thats what ive been doing too, but obviously she wont notice because whenever we meet, her vision field shrinks. let's see when will be the day that she returns that smile.
/
this is a shout-out to my wallet which is somewhere out there in the world:
wherever you are, im sure you're in the hands of someone who really needs the cash now. im sorry that i misplaced you ) : strange thing is, i dont even knw how and when you disappeared. its just so, bizarre. but like the father said, some things just happen and there's no explanation to it. im thinking optimistic! but of course, my heart aches for the wallet itself because its really gorgeous and one of my most unique possessions. on the other hand, some of the sad notes to myself are gone and it may be god's way of removing my sorrow / taking away the 'reminders' of my sorrow by symbolically losing you hah [: still, i'll miss you and you're irreplacable. finding another you will be as good as finding a needle in a haystack.
(my gosh.cant believe i just typed that hahaha. sounds quite mushy right, as though im writing abt a person. but i really wrote it from my heart okay. best wallet in my life. i suppose my future husband will be on cloud nine if i write something like that to him haha especially the last sentence. i know i'll totally melt if someone wrote that for me HAHAHAH)
/
my hair's finally dry! time to sleep and wake up early to do lit! spent the whole night packing my room 'cause i got a new cupboard hence, time lost for studying haha MUST MAKE UP FOR IT. im just left with about 6wks? make it or break it. btw, although prelims was quite a painful ordeal, i really got to experience god's grace. (i'll prob blog abt this another time) from the looks of it, my results cant bring me anywhere for now luh but im sure his faithfulness will abound to me and those who work hard [: never, ever, give up! that's what i wrote to myself in a self-penned letter last year during OBI haha i shall blog about this another time too
nighty nights!
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